Monday, 26 February 2024 ------------------------ To continue on the ideas written yesterday. I defined values as ultimate truths that were most important to us. I guess you could also use words like beliefs or expectations. We value a set of beliefs and reality must meet the expectations created from these beliefs. I'm not really satisfied with this writing but it's a start. Anyhow, an idea I wanted to suggest is that how we feel play a key role in our ability to judge. But it goes both ways. Negative feelings can make too pessimistic, and positive feelings can make too optimistic. Something tells me that negative feelings are better judges of reality dependant on context. Now I think there are many things that influence how we feel. Physical sensations like pain we feel at the specific spot we associate the sensation with like stubbing a toe. And with physical pain, we're more prone to see it as something happening to us, not a thing about who we are. What about the emotions we feel. Where exactly do they take place? It seems they are very close to consciousness. I can't pinpoint where my consciousness takes place other than I seem to experience it from my head but is that because of my eyes and ears creating that experience. So emotion and thought appears as happening close to consciousness. they seem closer to me than a pain felt physically. On the note about negative feelings being better at judging reality, could this be because of what purpose it serves for surviving? I was going to write about negative feelings being used to be careful or warn about surrondings or path taking, but it seems to me it could be useful to label the different emotions we feel and map them to a potential purpose they serve in the context of a human sustaining itself as its own system but also part of a larger system of a collective of humans. Iv'e only described feelings as negative and positive (in context of purpose, not innate opinion of wether they are) but that simplifies too much. Today the sky is clear and it's sunny. I went for a longer walk today in the morning as the sun was rising. Though it was a bit cold, especially my hands always get very cold. I usually listen to music when walking. Iv'e been thinking if I should try without it. It does make me more reserved and less attentive to my surrondings. But that creates a bit of a comfort too I think? Maybe I will try walking without music and report back what difference it made. I don't want to create arbitrary rules for what I should abstain from but it may be worth exploring wether the things we hold onto for comfort have a detrimental effect in some way. Comfort is a funny thing. I think the idea that our desire to seek comfort worked very well in a scarcer world but not in todays world of abundance makes sense. I think it is important to remember our experience is experienced outwards of a human being. You can't escape your human biology. Your experience will never be more than what the human is capable of experincing. So it seems theres a hard limit to how much you can transcend the human condition. We all have to breath and eat to sustain life. It is easy to forget our limits today with so many opportunities and the amazing creations by humanity. But I still think humans transcend above something somehow. I guess transcend in how other things like dead objects and other living things. Humans don't simply live in the context of the reality we can observe. We create our own realities and constructs that only exist for us. Many people live in layers of abstraction. A lot of I think we're not aware of, it is just the way it is, the normal. I think thats one reason it can be interesting to see other places and old times to see how differently we can construct reality and also recognise the things we view as normal but are not in the sense it's not a shared thing across all humans. So, I took a break as I didn't feel like writing more. When I was taking a break, I was starting to feel a hint of anxiety. Some pressure, an unpleasant feeling. I was'nt sure why I was feeling this way. I hadn't felt like that until now today. But it was a feeling I was very familiar with. Was I disappointed with the day? A realization the day would only get worse now. The day was not leading up to something greater but instead require sustained effort to finish. A struggle just to get by. No greater thing to justify the effort. Would I need some grand prize to chase? Why is being content seemingly so difficult? Or am I missing something else that started my unrest? Why was I only first now feeling it and why is it gone when I wake up tomorrow? Something took me out of the moment it seems. How do I come back, and not a temporary distraction, but a genuine way that satisfies whatever not allowing me to just be here without anxiety. I can still feel it lingering in the back of my mind and when I don't feel like writing anymore I will have to face it head on again. My instinct or my feelings usually tell me to solve it by the activity that requires less effort and quick results. That has'nt really been a good way to go about it from experience though. Perhaps I should try to go for a run and then see how I feel. Okay, that was a good choice. As I started running, the anxiety vanished in an instant and I was feeling great. I usually run with music but I decided not to this time. I think that also was a good idea. It allowed me to better be in the moment as there was enough stimulation going on. From experience I think it's a good idea to avoid stacking too many stimulants together. Running and being on stimulant medication is plenty. Stacking it with music easily causes you to exert yourself too much. It feels amazing but after you are very likely to crash and feel bad. Anyhow, while running I still noticed myself constantly distracted in thoughts, though positive at least. But I think it's better to be present so that is something to be mindful of. In the end I did manage to keep myself present for a good amount. this improved my running I believe but also reduced the risk of something taking me out of the moment. I have been reading a book called "Master Your Emotions: A practical guide to overcome negativity and better manage your feelings" by Thibaut Meurisse. The book indeed takes a very practical approach, I'm about half way through but nothing in it has really spoken much to me. Though it has given me inspiration for other sources to look into. Admittedly, I'm currently a bit biased towards seeing compassion for everyone or loving kindness as a powerful idea to make living easier. the book so far has not talked much of this apart from gratitude to other people and things created by others. theres also a few things I've been sceptical and somethings contradictory. I may write about it after I've finished the book.